Hot on the heels of Will Ferrell’s Land Of The Lost dissappearing faster than any movie this side of Battleship Earth, over the last 2 weeks or so, the newswire of the Onion’s AV Club has reported these “scintillating” movies that have just been greenlighted for production – and not ALL are remakes of 90s movies:
Moneyball – Yes, the book about Oakland A’s General Manager Billy Beane’s ability to find good baseball players on the cheap is going to be made into a movie. With Brad Pitt no less (originally Steven Soderbergh was to direct). Now that sports video games have added the player contract aspect to the “gameplay” I suppose this was inevitable.
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins – The bizarre attempt to cast Fred Ward (probably most famous for his turn as astronaut Gus Grissom in The Right Stuff and as Kevin Bacon’s handy work seeking partner in Tremors) as an action hero – complete with Cabaret star, and very caucasian, Joel Grey as his Korean mentor… The original flopped even as it was being set up as a franchise…. Wonder what will happen when the adventure begins again.
MacGruber – Ahhh yes, it’s been a while since a moderately funny SNL sketch became a feature length movie (It’s Pat!). And of all the recurring characters of the current cast, Will Forte’s Macgruber parody of mulleted 80s TV hero MacGyver is the one that seems to lose it’s flavor faster than a stick of fruitstripe gum. So of course it’s the first movie choice.
Baywatch – the movie. Not sure I really need to say much about this one. But we all know that without an R rating and The Hoff, well, maybe in a few years one could pick it up on a double feature dvd also featuring Land Of The Lost.
Hong Kong Phooey – Excellent! Poorly animated 70s cartoon about a dog who’s a janitor who turns into a kung fu hero as combination live action animated film. While I know without watching it that my memories of the original are much better than it actually was, here’s hoping this one can actually be worse than the Scooby Doo movies (still can’t believe a second one was made…. who the hell is buying all these tickets???) AND Land Of The Lost.
Asteroids. The Video Game. The Movie. Yup, ever since I first played the classic early 80s game of a triangle avoiding other line drawings in roughly the shape of rocks I’ve thought, “wow – if only they could write a script for this and, instead of actively participating, I could sit on my ass and just watch this for 100 minutes, that would be fantastic.”
Here’s hoping that Cooking For Dummies will soon be a new film franchise…
and “thanks” to the Onion’s AV Club for distributing all this wonderful news…